Really cannot make it..

I went for a civil service job selection on mon.. shall not say the department and position that I am applying to.. haha.. I am scared mah.. I still hoping to get the job.. okay this job.. the training will start in dec or jan.. the selection process is so long lor.. so scary.. after this selection, there will be 3 more rounds of interviews.. interview with psychologist, dialogue session with the management.. okay.. I think if you are familiar with this procedure.. you will know what job I am applying..

what really cannot make it? is the speed that the HR ppl do things.. or should I say the civil service.. like taking on sweet time.. don't seem to be very professional.. some matters are handled by the NS boys who are not really HR trained.. some communication problems.. we just received a SMS telling us where to meet and time and some stuff to bring.. why didn't they tell us that the selection will last the whole day? causing me to miss a large part of my ktv session.. I will not have put it on mon.. and why didn't they tell us that we need to know our referees.. so that we can handwritten our forms with ease.. yup.. we still have to handwritten a lot of forms and they still use the old filing system I think.. is this to create more work for the NS guys to do?

okay.. nvm.. then the thing is we finished our documentation and body check by 11am.. why must we wait for 3 hours before we can take our psychometric tests.. do they think that our time is not so precious? we don't take so long for lunch.. so we are just spending the time waiting and chatting.. if we have start early, we may have ended early and I do not have to miss so much of ktv and spend so much for cab.. and this psychometric test is the longest that I have done.. we have IQ ans personality questions and also a short qns paper to write.. this selection is really stringent.. I really don't know whether I will be selected.. since it will take so long, I am thinking of going for other jobs first.. and forget about this.. since I am quite turn off by the way they do things..

anyway.. I met quite a few interesting people at the selection.. one with 7 tattoos who rides a bike, one malay relief teacher for english who also ride a bike.. and a 28-years-old PE teacher who have quitted her job.. they are passionate about the job.. and really hope to get the job.. I am passionate about the job too but I think the intensity is not as much as theirs.. haha..

I starting to feel quite anxious about getting a job.. don't really like the feeling of bumming at home.. and not working.. so I have been checking my email everyday.. hoping to see something..

and I feel so unhealthy!

The very dark knight..

okay no more batman.. is dark knight.. so batman is not a hero but a protector of the police.. protector of the real hero who shows his face.. or has half a face.. so ppl who have faces covered are bad lah.. should be blamed for all the bad things right.. batman is, painted-face joker is and the half faced district attorney Harvey Dent..

This movie is dark.. it shows the possible dark side of human.. the joker conducted experiments to prove that human has his own selfishness and evil side.. but batman believes in the goodness of human.. his experiment is quite successful.. as he managed to manipulate badly burnt Harvey.. provoked his anger and do all the bad things.. but it was all covered up by the poor batman.. do the ppl really don't need batman? Gotham citizens are blinded to think that way.. batman has helped them and is not a criminal..

I just can't take the fact that the joker sacrificed so many innocent just to achieve his goals.. ferry of criminals and ferry of ordinary citizens.. who should be sacrificed? it just so painful to make the decision and kill anyone.. no matter how bad the crimes the criminals have committed.. we also do not have the rights to end their lives and the criminals themselves also know that due to all the bad things that they have done, they are not worth staying alive.. I am happy that these ppl realise this fact.. but is this happening in the reality?

My friends say that the new batman car looks ugly.. I agree.. haha.. but his bike looks cool and my friends say that he sounds so weird with the voice that he has when he is masked.. he don't have that in the last movie.. and many ppl are making fun of his mumbling low voice.. haha.. just watch the spoofs on youtube..

The big big shots..

Went to the commencement dinner last fri evening and it was a eye-opener for me..

Who will know that UCC can accomodate so many round tables for this dinner? Before going there, I was still thinking that the dinner was a standing buffet but isn't that weird for the VVIPs? To stand and eat their dinner? When I reached UCC, I was quite surprised by the sight. And I was so happy to know that Ziyang is also going for the dinner and he fetched me to UCC from Sci. So nice of him.. I just went to the dinner without knowing who else are going lor.. don't know whether there are anybody else whom I know going.. I was stitting the chem department profs, Ryan Bettens, Adrian Lee and FST Zhou Wei Biao.. and one more chem students is Rachel, the valedictorian.. who is sitting with the impt ppl.. and the remaining ppl at our table are from the maths, stats and QF departments.. what a mix.. anyway.. i have a great time sitting with them.. not bored at all..
The transformation of UCC..
Ziyang and me at the cocktail reception..

The Chem ppl..
of course the common topic is what I studied.. whether I have found a job.. what job I am looking for.. haha.. it is a good starting point for me to learn how to socialise and networking.. networking is impt.. and to find something to start conversation is impt.. and should be engaging.. the graduate from QF who sat beside me is good in ask good questions.. he is a scholar and he scores 4.9 plus for CAP.. oh my goodness.. I feel so small there.. you must be thinking why am I there.. just becos I am the class rep so I represents the honours student lor.. haha.. quite honoured lah.. something good about being the rep..

and the other side of me sat the NUS high school principal.. and he gave quite an insight to his school.. NUS high school is aiming at being world class.. and their students are all very very intelligent and are able to do well in NUS modules even though they are still in high sch.. there is a question asked whether these students will be going to NUS or they will want to go overseas since their results are so good.. they just had their first batch of diploma graduating students and there are already students being accepted by MIT.. so good lor.. and the topic of NUS vs NTU was raised and I made a comment that NTU is coming up as they are providing new courses similar to NUS.. and some profs are also being poached by NTU but the profs still believe the best are not moved by NTU at all and they stay at NUS.. and the hype about engin in NTU better than NUS is a marketing way.. haha..

We are seated so far from the stage and couldn't see the stage at all so we have to look at the TV screens.. haha.. UCC may not be very good place for grand dinner with so many pillars around and the low ceiling.. sad to say the tv screens don't make you pay attention to the programs on stage.. we will be chatting away most of the time.. and the dinner don't really taste fantastic lah.. compared to my grad dinner.. this is really not good.. and the service staff are from hilton.. does it means the food is also from hilton.. makes me wonder.. the only special dish is the final NUS Commencement Dessert.. It is a chocolate dome with raspberry sauce and alfonso mango sherbert. it is the nicest food that night.. haha..
NUS Commencement Dessert.. yummy..

After the event I went to took photo with the President of NUS.. it will be his last year in NUS.. the ex-Sci dean and current Provost and also the current dean.. never get to take photo with President Nathan.. so sad lor.. only the performers and the NUSSU ppl are lucky..

Photo taken with Prof Shih Choon Fong and Mrs Shih..

With Prof Tan, Ex sci dean..
Current Science dean and life sci prof..

Me and Alvan who is one of the dancers at the dinner..

Early this week.. I went to work part-time for an events company called "The Event Company" haha.. I am serious.. this is its name.. I worked as an usher at the Asean Ministerial Meetings at Shangrila Hotel.. Due to the tight security, it was first time I have the metal sensor body check.. it was actually a great experience.. can see all the Asean foreign ministers and Condoleezza Rice.. US secretary of state.. big shot leh.. haha.. and she even smiled and thanked me for opening the door for her.. haha.. but it was a tiring job.. have to wake up near 5am.. for the 4 days.. and finished work at 7pm.. I had slept early for those days lor.. luckily never fall asleep during work.. and we have to stand throughout the day.. sometimes.. nothing to do at all.. so opening the door is a better job for us than just standing there.. which is so sian.. and the ministers have so many followers and body guards who will direct them and made our job redundant.. the MFA ppl are also there.. and they are always watching us.. making sure that we are not slacking or pinching on their food..

haha.. Shangrila's snack is so delicious lor.. even its cappuccino and cookies are nice.. everyday.. we will "steal" the leftovers.. hee.. so delicately designed lor.. and so ex looking.. and the VIP don't really eat them.. haha.. I finally tasted the famous Macroons.. and even their thosai and mee siam are nice.. yummy yummy.. free food is always nice.. hee.. cheapo..

As part timers there, I always feel that we are watched by the MFA or the Perm staff.. they are sometimes just "jealous" that we looked more slacked and worked less hours than them.. we can't even slack too much during lunch lor.. ppl always complain.. one gal was caught on the first day.. sleeping on the comfortable chair in the toilet.. she slept for half an hour and was found by one of the MFA staff and that staff complained to our head.. and she was fired.. luckily she was still paid for the hours that she had worked..

AMM in short.. The logo looks like rice padi..

hee.. I was holding on the door while taking this photo of Rice secretly.. her bodyguard is just standing next to me.. so scary..
Flags of the ARF members..

The media is really scary.. always rush here and there.. to take photos..

The ushers with our FM George Yeo! He is really friendly and approachable.. he came forward to talk to us so we took the chance to take photo with him.. and he was fascinated by us sharing the photo using bluetooth..

don't ask me what the ministers have discussed becos I am always outside the ballrooms standing.. but they really have a lot of agenda to discuss.. I must thank yihui for introducing this job to me.. really a good chance to see the politics.. and this also spurred my interest in events again.. this company is really big.. much bigger than the one that I have interview with.. and the opportunity to have career advancement will be greater.. and so I want to apply.. and I have discussed with my parents.. they have once again quite discouraging.. due to the low pay and difficulties in the job.. the irregular hours and the lack of rest and sleep.. but I really don't mind.. becos my interest is really in events now.. so I have send in my resume.. hopefully will have interview soon.. but the problem is what if I have a few job offers, do I choose this events job over the rest? even though it is lower pay? and if I reject the civil service job, I can't apply it again in the future right.. so my decision will decide the future of my life.. so frustrating.. why we always have so many decisions to make? and some decisions are really hard to make..

Battle of Red Cliff to be continued..

I didn't know there is a part 2 to this movie.. I was even suspecting whether this movie will be very long as there are so many wars to fight.. then at the end of the 2 hours plus movie.. the words came out.. "to be continued".. some guy beside me says.. "What the hell?? Do they want us to go out and buy tix again to come in and watch part 2??" haha.. he also don't know there is a part 2.. me too..

never expect it.. it is a surprise to me.. never read the review lah.. but this is a good movie.. not bored by the ancient speech at all.. they have injected some modern language to this movie.. but sounds so funny.. with the humour, this movie is interesting to watch.. becos you will not know what surprising things will come out.. but I must say that I am attracted to the looks of jin cheng wu Takeshi Kaneshiro.. his eyes are damn pretty lah.. haha.. but he looks too modern for this role already.. so looks a bit funny actually..

but the guan yu really looks like guan yu.. like a real hero.. the 3 generals guan yu, zhao yun and zhang fei are the real heroes.. always manage to fight alone.. they are fearless.. Is Lin Chi-ling the vase? I don't think so.. maybe she protrays the most beautiful woman of that time, but she is not a vase.. she is a support for her husband, she understands her man.. she is not a bimbo.. she leaves an impression in everyone who watched the movie.. same for Zhao Wei.. her character is impressive, being a true heroine.. fearless to be at the frontline.. A pity is their screentime is very short..

The battle scenes are very real.. with fighting stunts that look so real.. the director did make a effort to shoot these properly.. just that the blood spurting out very unreal.. haha.. like poking into a bag full of red ink.. I don't really like to see wars.. like committing many murders.. don't they regret what they did and don't the soldiers regret sacrificing their lives? I just hate seeing ppl suffering and feeling the pain..

Check this out!!

New series of Avril Lavigne's Live acoustic set videos has been put on my blog.. right at the bottom.. Pls take a look. Still love her voice and her as herself..

Feeling empty and tired..

Is this how my years in NUS will end??

After a hectic week.. course ended on wed.. commencement on fri.. yahui's birthday party on sat and grad dinner on sun.. I started to feel empty and tired.. really tired.. immediately after the grad dinner ended.. I started to feel the tiredness overwhelmed me.. Is it becos too many things happened to me last week? the lack of sleep days when attending the course.. a course that I don't know whether will be useful to me at all.. I thought it is.. "positive mindset will lead to positive behaviour and positive consequences ".. this is so practical to me.. I really need to think positively.. and I need to be positive towards what my parents say and do to me.. I have been too negative and the customer service skills can be applied to have a good attitude towards ppl.. especially my parents..

Commencement day is a really good day to me.. took photos with so many ppl and have so many ppl coming to UCC just to take photos with me.. really very touched lor.. and I will not forget the hugs yah.. from van and moses.. I love hugs from friends.. maybe I distanced myself from parents and don't feel the comfort from them at all.. anyway.. I can feel my parents really feel proud of me for my graduation from uni.. and I am happy that I did it for them and for myself..
Balloons falling to signify the end of commencement.. everybody busy throwing the balloons and bursting them.. bom bom bom!!!


My parents, uncle and me.. it's the first time I see my dad wears shirt and tie.. quite smart looking leh..
me and ronglun..

My last SCAMP OG.. Nadir! I kill you!!

Me and my prof..

Thankz nixon for coming specially to school after work to take photo with me.. feel so honoured.. haha..

Had a very good small gathering on sat at yahui's birthday.. we talked about what we did in primary school.. it feels so great to think back about the good time we had in primary school.. that is more than 10 years ago.. and I haven't been seeing wei lun around for about 10 years already.. nobody has changed much.. so am I.. and so happy to know that some of us are still staying so near to one another.. I thought everyone has moved away.. so good to feel that have friends close to you..
We missed the birthday song singing.. haha.. becos we went to the washroom.. when we came back, everybody was taking group photos already.. so funny lor.. haha..

The grad dinner was a great success.. everyone has enjoyed themselves.. with all the entertaining speech made by the mcs , ming xian and kai wi, and the entertaining performance and singing by the profs and students.. can really see that they have laughed a lot during the dinner.. all our hard work has paid off.. thank you to my hardworking comm.. thank you program comm (stella, jas, yee lian and yining) for the good program lineup and the running about during the dinner.. thank you log comm (jeremiah, yihui, qinyi, roujun and wei qiang) for the table arrangement, logistics preparation.. especially want to thank jeremiah for doing all the "magic" and all the driving and transporting.. thank you marketing comm (shiying, shuhui and shihui) for sending out all the proposals and obtained all the goodies for the goodies bags.. I am not very busy during the dinner.. becos I have a very good comm.. this dinner cannot happen without you all..

I also like to thank the department and all my classmates.. no matter they are honours or year 3s.. your support has given me the strength to organise this event and I really learnt a lot in all the planning and stuff.. it's really a great experience..
My dear comm with missing roujun, shuhui and shihui.. so happy it's over..

but I feeling empty now..

Is it my choice or their choice?

I went for a interview for a catering/events executive position last fri.. It went quite well.. the interviewer is really good in pointing out my mistakes and have said that he will be able to train me and change me to be a better speaker.. yup.. my minus point is not able to speak professional and commercially.. I couldn't speak well and properly.. every time I will "grind" my words.. and I "speak like a old woman" why? Is it becos I process my thoughts in Chinese? Did I? maybe.. becos I can speak chinese more comfortably.. I really need to improve on my speech lah.. I must make a point to speak in more correct english..

That's the only bad thing that interviewer feels I should improve on.. I am actually quite happy that he can help me.. and thinking of giving this job a try.. I know how tough this job will be to start from scratch.. how irregular the working hours will be.. how low the pay will be for a beginner like me.. I actually don't mind about this.. I want to learn! I want to learn about hospitality.. I am considering working in the IR in the near future... okay.. it is not related to my science degree at all.. and I am not considering working for chem related companies.. I don't want chem already.. I have enough of Chem.. so can my mum pls stop telling me to find chem related stuff? really sick of it..

I thought the interview was going very well and I most probably will get selected.. quite confident of it and it really did.. but I never accept the job offer in the end.. becos it will give my dad a heart attack.. he is so worried that I take up this low pay job.. "you study so much.. you should get a job that has a pay equivalent to your level! Not something a low education level person can do de.. " and "it is a very shitty job.. I always hear my customers complain to me that they have to work until very late.." and " you are not suitable for this job at all!! you can't do sales.. it is too tough of you.." and " I am happy that you look for those management kind of job but this job really not for you.."

Okay.. after telling him about my choice of job.. he really can't sleep that night.. why must he over reacted on this issue... why must he be so worried and why must he get so agitated.. I really feel sad.. not that I disappoint them but becos I can't choose something I like.. I have no freedom at all.. there are times that I feel that he is just worried that I earn less and so cannot bring more money to home and he cannot work less.. I really not stand him saying that he will work less after I start working.. I just feel the stress to work just to take care of them.. is that my life in the future.. I have to always meet their expectation and I can't pursue what I want.. Can I grow up?

I really don't know what will happen next...

Give up liao..

There is a toy that I have been playing with for some days.. during my bus and MRT rides..
The magic cube..

I am able to complete a face easily liao.. after trying over and over again but I still can't complete a whole cube.. why so difficult? I am always stuck with the last layer.. hai~ I have given up trying liao.. I will try it again when I more free bah.. or when my interest come back bah..

Black liao.. becos of the camp..

haha.. have been very very busy after coming back from SCAMP and have many deadlines need to meet..

Feeling very bad that I still have a long way to go for the Sci Phi stuff.. really sorry andy.. becos I am suddenly busy with my course.. my grad dinner also need to design stuff.. like the certs, tix.. and I got to prepare for commencement and grad dinner lor.. and sending my resume.. so many.. oops.. sound like excuses like that.. hee..

hee..actually enjoyed this last SCAMP for me.. even though many ppl including the freshies say I old lah.. "should be old steph and not big steph lah.." hahaha.. so funny right.. becos there is another steph in this OG so need to differentiate us lor.. and since she is my last year freshie so she small, I big lor.. but I really older than everyone in my OG lor.. older than freshies guy by 2 years and the gals by 4 years leh.. and the seniors are mostly year 1 going year 2 and only andrew who is as old as me but still say I few months older lor.. so sad to be old lor.. but still have ppl say I looks like I just 20 only.. haha.. so happy to hear that.. always with young ppl so will look young lor.. and my heart is never old.. haha..
OG photo with desmond in spongebob square pants... haha.. so unglam yah.. unglam no. 2..

Day 2 in LT 25..

Mass dance Part 3.. the girlfriend song.. Joc's favourite.. haha.. so happy to see so many ppl in my tee.. will see even more ppl in this tee on rag day.. thankz andy for giving me the recognition..

SCAMP is incomplete without supper at fong seng.. prata!

Day 3 at the first external stop of amazing race at holland V.. Benjamin wore the underwear on the outside his pants but it is not clear in this pic.. haha..

Photo with unglam no. 1.. kangting.. haha..

We are supposed to act barbaric but why so many gals smiling.. haha.. friendly barbarians..
4th day! Going sentosa..

the sleeping dominoes on the bus to sentosa.. haha..
On the bus to palawan beach..
Blue House!! Blue nails!!

The pretty SP ICs..
The yellow Nadir female seniors.. haha.. we never say beforehand but coincidently we wore the same colour..
Wei yang also yellow.. amazing..

The freshies in shades of white and red..

Nadir on the beach...
The seniors minus small steph..

The checkereds.. Look at my bad tan..

The best SP in yellow..
Underwater World..

The nadir freshies..

The seniors..

The Barbarians..

this scamp have creative games that never played before and good seniors but the young seniors really get tired easily yah.. haha.. not as energetic as the "old ppl".. haha.. I did feel sad towards the end of the camp.. becos I started to miss sch.. and sci club ppl.. imagine will not be able to see familiar faces along the way to lecture and can't go club room to slack and talk talk le.. really sad lah.. and when I see the winning rag video, I really did cry lah.. the most emotional time in sci club..

I actually have the thoughts that it will not happen again anytime soon.. but who knows? like last year.. not many expect a win but we still did it.. and now the percentage is 50-50.. so we have even higher chance of winning le.. with all the hard work put on rag.. from what I see now.. not many ppl help rag leh.. even more ppl are needed bah but I still have see the comm members gan cheong leh.. so still haven't lag behind bah.. however, from what I remembered.. last few years.. by this time.. should be quite happening and rush liao lor.. nvm.. different comm.. different style bah..

I like all my freshies.. although there are some weird sleepwalk and sleeptalk.. haha.. must be too tired lah.. anyway.. they are a fun batch and they actually bonded in a way by using me as a target of their jokes lor.. I am quite useful yah.. who started it yah.. the gal who called hwee teng lah.. she got such big scary eyes lah and she is too good in talking that I cant win her de.. haha.. she even gave a "gift" which finally gone last few days ago.. the big blue black from ouch obi obi.. haha.. my favourite game.. which have to be play in proper way then fun which is to hit as hard as you can.. but the blue black really black lor.. and all the blood clot accumulated to my knee there lor.. must be careful of her lor.. haha.. a new game that I learn in this camp: tongkat.. is fun.. can train my reaction.. haha.. if not I too slow le.. and the game called he ha! is fun too..
The blue blacks.. hee..

Want to see more SCAMP photos? Go to these links: http://picasaweb.google.com/starsfruit/SCAMP08Part1 and http://picasaweb.google.com/starsfruit/SCAMP08Part2

I also uploaded many photos on facebook.. so busy tagging ppl and my mailbox is always flooded with mails from facebook lor..

we had 2 outings already.. the first nearly everybody is there.. it's at vivo and we watched Get Smart.. a very very funny show.. haha.. the agent should really get smart.. he is smart in some ways but he is still dumb in some ways.. and his dumb ways can really make you laugh until cry.. you can't imagine that there are ppl like him around.. the Rock seems so extra.. he also has to act a bit funny in some ways which seems so unnatural.. haha.. their poster is very special as all the other actors except the main actor have their faces blocked.. isn't that a bit bad for them.. as they don't get the publicity..

At the vivocity food court..

then the second gathering is at sch to celebrate steph's birthday.. happy birthday steph! while preparing for the cake actualy quite happening.. wax dripped in the lighter and then the lighter can't get lighted then the candle fall on the cake.. and the metal part of the lighter flew to the cake.. haha.. very clumsy right.. after the celebration, some of us stay on to do rag and then at the end we went on an exploration.. I first time climb up the roof leh.. suan gu right.. final year le.. then know..
"I want a piece!!"

Wed was the rag and flag camp.. went there late afternoon but stil get to play some games and then is the dinner and fruits nite.. so many fruits lor.. luckily my group never kena the zhong ji mi ma.. then no need to eat so much.. after that some of us played the ji niu nie game.. very excited playing that.. it is our zeus and nemo game.. started by jas and zoe.. haha.. will never forget this game..
The "re" group..

Our fruits..

Commencement coming le.. this fri morning.. pls come and take photos with me okay.. and I still looking for job lor.. finding job really not easy.. and now I am attending the course on service.. I will be a certified service professional and I can go into service line? but first can I accept a low starting pay and start from scratch? Can I? we shall see..