Am I an easy target?

If you enjoy being fierce to me, I don’t enjoy it at all..

If you feel nothing about embarrassing me in front of ppl, I did feel something..

If you think I look so toot that I am an easy target for bully, you are wrong..

If you think I am in bad mood, am I? I just trying to be emotionless and lie low.. and being busy has given me the excuse to do that.. I think I never even show my true bad mood yet..

If you think I am just thinking too much, that means you are thinking too little.. have you ever think about what you have done? Maybe it is not your business at all.. why did I come near in the first place?

If you are feeling jealous, I can’t stop it.. as I am just being myself.. I am doing what I think is right and I have my ways.. and it’s just my fate and luck that I am what I am now..

If you did it on purpose to provoke me, to teach me a lesson, I think you succeeded.. I really did learn something.. I should not have become your "no choice".. I thought I am something, but seems like I am nothing to you.. I am thankful for all you have done for me, truely thankful.. you may not appreciate what I done at all.. and may not remember.. it is still my own choice.. nobody force me..

I am also sorry if my problems become your problems.. I just didn't know I am such a pain in the ass..

If you didn't keep my secrets at all, I don't blame you becos it is my own fault to disclose them to you.. but don't worry, I don't believe in taking revenge although my mind is telling me to do that.. I will not tell others what I know about you..

I should have listen to my parents and friends earlier.. I should have.. it’s too late now and I was too stubborn.. I believed that there were still some chances.. there should be.. but seems like I am wrong.. and seems like I just like to appear and do the wrong things at the wrong time.. maybe I am really toot..

I just so not used to the true cold and complicated human world.. maybe.. others feel the same way about me too.. not maybe.. high chance it will..

To all my friends out there, I really miss you..