The soft side

Kids have to go thru the naughty stage.. that is undeniable.. becos they don't know what is right or wrong..

My Malay neighbour kids are naughty and playful.. they always create nuisance by playing loudly and vandalise the corridor.. disturbing all the neighbours with their noise..

But you can't be angry with them.. becos they are kids.. and I even saw them gather at the staircase landing early in the morning to make a card for their mother.. it's quite touching.. they are sensible after all..

Everything has fast forward from the start to the end..

Is that the end? what am I still hoping for.. still looking forward to.. what have all the promises become? they are all empty now..

No choice, no comments, whatever I say.. I hate these answers.. didn't even try or make even the slightest efforts..

Am I being unreasonable or too demanding? or I give problems? I want to help.. I want to be there.. how can I do the right thing if I don't know anything..

I felt the pain and it is still there.. I am tired.. I am not strong at all.. Can I stop thinking about everything and pretend nothing happened? I can't..

Does life ends so sudden?

I received an email reply from an architect..
"Dear.. Roberto has passed away.."

When I saw this, I was so shocked.. and I felt a sourness in my heart.. although I am not close to this man, we did talk regarding work and I did know him.. to know that somebody you knew passed away.. it's quite sad.. and it is so sudden.. it really is.. I just spoke to him about 2 weeks ago.. and that time he looks okay to me.. don't look sick or weak at all.. and I have cc him an email 2 days ago but was informed about his passing by this architect whom I emailed to.. I don't dare to ask how he died.. that's being too busybody already..

I still remembered him saying "it's nice to see pretty girl coming into office once in a while" and I felt so paiseh and just smiled back.. it's true that construction site seldom has girls around.. but hear it from someone whom I don't really know, it just feel weird.. but this person is now gone..

why can life end so suddenly.. it's so unpredictable..

somebody told me that we have to live life to the fullest and not drown ourselves in work.. life can be so short and we have to treasure it.. and also treasure the people around us..

Why are they so mean?

Why are the DJs from 987 so mean? How can they say something so bad about a girl who didn't do anything bad to them..

I was listening to the radio on my van and was shocked to hear all the bad things.. they were talking about Claire Lee, the first runner up for Miss Singapore.. saying how ugly she is compared to the winner, Ris Low.. saying she is more ugly than Rihanna after she was abused by Chris Brown.. very against her to take over Ris to represent Singapore and then they say they like Ris.. saying she is a candid nice girl.. honest about what she did..

If Claire's family and friends heard these, I think they will be very sad.. these comments are so awful to hear..

I think media and reporters can really bring a person up to the sky and slam a person down to bottom.. and one time they can say something good about you at one point of time and then something bad about you at another point of time..

Is it silly?

Is it silly to make somebody a birthday present when you are not sure whether that person will appreciate it or treasure it? I asked my friend. Then she told me that we not only feel happy from taking, we also feel happy from giving.. I smiled when I heard that.. I am not silly at all..

Is it fate?

Has my call finally been heard after so long? it has happened so sudden and fast..

Is it a dream? It seems too nice to be true.. How long will this dream last? I hope it will last as long as possible..

"My" van

haha.. not exactly is mine.. it's my company's but bought for me to use.. sounds like a good deal right.. have vehicle to drive to work.. to meet clients.. to site.. and to any place after work..

but having a company vehicle means anytime the clients want to meet me, I will have to go.. no excuse that it is not convenient.. and anytime the installers miss out anything or need anything.. I will need to bring to them.. during busy period i will need to travel to 3 to 4 places in a day.. driving can be so tiring.. especially drive van cannot drive too fast.. on the expressway can be so boring.. and i have to make myself awake during driving.. which can be so difficult when I am so tired.. I also cannot give excuse that I cannot stay late in office becos of no transport.. so I usually stay late in office now..

driving company also means no more transport allowance.. lower salary now.. hai~ becos petrol, season parking, parking coupons, cashcard are paid.. no bad.. but I just can't stand to have less money in my bank :(

driving a van comes responsibilities like driving colleagues out from office.. taking care of the van.. and also have to settle troublesome matters like car repairs and servicing..

I was so unlucky last Wed that I met with a car accident.. nothing serious.. nobody hurt.. only my van and other party's car are hurt with minor injuries.. It happens on PIE.. there was heavy traffic and cars are moving slowly.. to get hit is so unexpected as I only moving forward slowly.. then suddenly I heard crashing sound.. I was so shocked and when I turned around.. I saw a car driven past me on my right very quickly to the front.. I stopped my car in the lane and was confused whether is that fast car which hit me or the car right behind me now.. I was thinking whether to chase that car or just stop there.. I drove forward slightly then saw a car stopped in front at the shoulder.. then I knew that was the car which hit me.. lucky they never hit and run away.. I was so worried lor.. when i see the damage on my van then I realised what happened.. the car was changing lane so closely that it hit the right back corner of my van..



the troublesome part of the accident is the report at the Idac the next day and then have to go to the repair workshop to repair the damage which took 2 days.. without the van, I have to take taxi and claim the money.. as the backlight has to be imported in.. I will have to wait about 2 months before the light can be repaired..

so is it good to have a vehicle? it has its good and bad.. after the accident, I just have some bad feeling about driving now.. will feel scared that I will meet with accident again.. maybe I will get over it soon bah..