There is still hope..

last 2 weeks have been quite disappointing for me.. not only becos of the poor response from job applications and also some other things..

I never feel so helpless and powerless.. where is the power I used to have? is it me or is it them? Is it becos I not really impt.. or the rest not impt.. what is the point of having orientation? just to have friends on the surface? just for studies? close friends not really.. yah.. when do og lasts? we only spend a week or so together than after that? If we are in the same course.. if we are in the same cca.. we will stay tog.. maybe only.. how can bf and friends of a few years compared to a week or so? even if we the first friends that we meet in uni.. is it significant enough?

I am thinking.. through my four years in uni.. I have so many friends.. even more than many other people.. so should I go and care about all these ppl.. should I? should I put in so much efforts? but I never care about the return.. becos I just don't like the feeling of being left out.. being pangsei.. being blur blur in uni.. I being thru all these.. so I want to help.. I don't want ppl to suffer like me.. so maybe I should just think that it is the orientation system problem.. or the mentality of the youngsters have changed.. they know clearly what is impt to them and nobody can easily change their mind, unless you are somebody impt to them.. I assume this is the reason becos it happens to many other groups too.. not only mine..

so what is an outing if somebody say that you all can have it without me.. anyway.. I not so impt.. or should I say it doesn't hurt me or you if I don't go.. by putting it bluntly.. it quite sad to hear that.. I will feel really sad.. what friends is this? therefore it has been a long time since I organise a gathering.. I used to be enthubut not now.. I tried again.. but it was disappointing so I don't think I want to try again.. I rather go out alone.. or just a few friends..

okay.. now that everything is over.. my last official sci club event is over.. if I am invited.. I may consider.. I have no more reason to go back to sch.. so I no need to face anything.. I just have to concentrate on my job applications which I have sent out quite a number... got interviews coming up so no more worries.. there is hope!! and I can have time for my hobbies.. watch videos, blogging, take photos, reading up on designing, go gym and learn dance! yah.. I signed up for a hip hop class at the sports complex near my house.. really enjoy it.. don't want to have stiff shoulder anymore and can be more flexible and expressive.. hopefully.. haha..

I am enjoying life.. I really am.. haha..

EQ is so impt..

all the controversy that revolved around the ping pong game in Singapore is so called over.. the main characters in the story held their hands and raised high for everyone to see.. for the whole singapore to see..

it should be something happy that singapore finally won another olympics medals after 48 years.. but becos of the minister who don't have much EQ or should I say has no training to deal with media.. she burst out in front of the reporters about how angry she is and how the manager and coach will be deal with.. and following are some out burst by the other characters like the coaches, manager and players.. now they are washing their dirty laundry for everyone to see.. now everyone knows how bad the internal situation is.. there are unhappiness that is kept in the hearts of the people for too long.. izzit the biasness.. izzit the cockiness.. only they will know themselves..

I think all of them.. the ministers and sportsmen should go on course to deal with media.. I think they are not trained enough on how to face the reporters and public.. now that cameras and flash follow them everywhere and singaporeans are so much concerned with sports now.. with the F1 and youth olympics coming.. I think we should all portray ourselves in a better way to the whole world..

The finale..

The olympic ended today.. there is no more sports to watch.. the last that I watched is the rhythmic gymnastics.. so sad..

The closing ceremony is nice.. but you don't feel so wow as compared to the opening.. but it still has its impressive elements like its human tower..

Congrats to our women table tennis team for getting a silver.. and I see a future with better medal with feng tianwei around.. maybe a gold.. the way she plays is so much better than li jiawei.. more calm.. and less errors.. and she can really fight with zhang yining.. and her match is so much more exciting.. Li jiawei missed her bronze again.. and she is so sad.. but can't be help with so many errors..

I hope Singapore will have chance to win more medal in the next olympic with more locally born sportspeople participating.. foreign talent is good but we can be more proud of it if the medal is won by somebody local..

Watched 2 non-blockbusters

Last week, I watched 2 movies.. one is more of the indie kind, artistic kind which have won many awards overseas.. and the other which is a documentary that has received very good reviews..

Bad habits.. a film about not eating either becos of religious reason, losing weight reason.. it touched on the issues of anorexic, the reality of religion and the common concept of thin is beauty..

there is a gal who believed in god fully, such that she thinks god can save everyone, stop everyone from dying and stop every disasters.. even better than what a doctor can do.. yah.. she is a doctor.. and she thinks by not eating good food will help, will get the god's response but didn't she know all these deaths and disasters are part of the life cycle? and all the praying that did came true maybe just coincidence.. I am not trying to say that religion cannot be believed.. it just that god can't save everybody.. deaths are part of life..

and there is a mother.. who thinks skinny is beauty.. and wants herself to be thin and her daughter to be like her.. but don't she knows that chubby can also be pretty and her daughter has her father's gene too.. the fat genes.. yah.. her father is fat.. and likes to eat a lot.. so how can she be thin.. they tried so many ways of sliming down.. placebo.. the fake food in slimming centre.. the acupuncture.. so crazy..

the funniest thing is the father architect.. at a point in time thinks that the gastric acid from the vomit of the school gals can corrode the pipes? so ridiculous..

What so artistic about this movie is the way some of the scenes appear.. and the sound effects.. it is a fine movie.. but not so fantastic.. maybe becos I don't always watch this kind of movie..

The second movie is mad about english.. it is funny in the way the china chinese speak english, and the funny road signs or signboards they have.. the chinese are so into learning english even the near 80-year-old elderly also want to learn.. they conquered the bad memory.. all the difficulties to learn it.. and this old lady who is a sinseh.. also can speak the illness in english.. amazing.. all of them want to be part of the olympic fever and this is not only about olympic.. it is also about their future.. their wanting to have progress in the development of the country.. their patriotism has pushed them to learn english.. they are also kaisu de..

There is this crazy english teacher.. or should I say he is a motivator.. he not only teaches english.. he teaches values.. he yelled english to teach english.. he says "The only way to learn english is to memorise and recite." and he has a dream which is to change China, change everyone to learn english.. why.. is not to follow the westerners.. but to pity them becos they cannot speak chinese well.. wah.. quite proud yah.. and he motivated the youngster to learn english so as to show their patriotism, their filial to their parents.. english will make them a better person.. Wow!!

and there is this very crazy intensive camp that is military style.. parents spent a lot of money to bring their only child there to learn english in a crazy way.. cannot sleep much and have to learn english almost 24 hours.. and there are tests every day.. and to learn it is thru yelling.. you can see all their determination.. you will think they are really mad..

My last Rag and Flag day..

Last Sat, I experienced my last Rag and Flag day.. the last float that I will be involved in doing, pasting, painting and cutting.. I don't think I will have the chance to be truely involved in the future..

I was asked to be our own Sci Rag photographer to help to take some photos of our Sci Raggers working, Sci fac cheering and also photos of other facs' and halls' floats and dance.. I woke up very early to be at NUS track for the touch up and prejudging.. yes Rag Day is back to NUS.. no more padang and this year due to the clash with national day, president nathan has to be at the istana and cannot be at the Rag Day..

Anyway.. Rag Day as usual is an emotional day.. many kinds of emotion.. anxious, excited, tired, happy, sad, disappointment, relieved and lost.. imagine having so many kinds of feeling in a day.. so it is really a memorable day for both flaggers and raggers.. you either cry for joy or cry for lost..

Biz ad is the big winner for faculty while KR is the big winner for hall.. Biz ad almost sweep all the flag awards.. and KR swept almost all the flag and rag awards.. we at least won a best float design award.. it's impressive that KR won the best float and environmentally friendly.. if you look at their float carefully you will be impressed by the kind of things and materials they used for their float.. things that you can't think of they will think of it and use them effectively.. although they have raised a lot of money last year, they still manage to receive the best progress award.. really can't imagine how much efforts they have put in.. I think we really have to learn from them.. quite impossible to follow completely the same, but at least try their model..

Pharmacy has such great improvement that when you look at their float presentation, you will feel wow.. impressive.. never expect such a good presentation from them.. can see they have really put in a lot of efforts and have very strong support from their department.. but the sad thing is they should be working with sci and not be our rival..

Although the criteria for winning chancellor shield has changed to 50% flag and 50% rag, it did not help much at all.. I believe the marks for rag are too close.. the judges should be quite lenient.. so the deciding factor is still flag.. and the difference in the money raised maybe quite a lot.. sci has improved in the fund raising but seems like everyone has also improved so did biz.. so the results are something not liked by all sci students.. especially the comm ppl.. but even if we have lost, we have to lose with good sportsmanship.. no point talking bad about anybody.. so the flag and rag directors really did make a good closing speech for the day.. I respect you all!

we are not bad losers.. we didn't win this year, we will win next year.. the most impt thing is we have enjoyed the process and achieve the more impt and meaningful aims which are to help the less fortunate ppl with the money raised.. and the bonding between seniors and freshies that are built thru the process.. the strong friendship and spirit that will not die down easily.. and every sci club event has to end with this powerful cheer.. that I will never forget..

Took about 3 GB plus of photos and videos for the event and I have selected some photos which I really like and have captured the right moments..