I felt the adrenaline..

yesterday is a happy day for me as I manage to talk to somebody.. somebody whom I have not talked to for a very very long time.. even sms or msn also quite little.. due to some sad reasons that makes me want to forget and avoid that person.. okay.. known as A here.. I didn't really avoid A very obviously but just try not to talk too much to A.. haha..

I think is fate that brings me to talk to A.. becos I have never thought of talking to A again especially I have left the sch.. I thought I will never have the chance and I have no reason to do that.. but yesterday there was a reason.. haha.. never really talked much becos A is busy.. I thought that is all.. then A called back again.. yah.. and I was quite surprised.. never expect that.. we talked a bit and I felt some sort of excitement and happiness that has been missing for some time.. Will all my emotions be back? I really hate myself for that.. I should forget about it.. just be what I should be.. be normal..

however, a news really causes me to be in a confusion now.. why did it happened? shouldn't I be happy to know that? isn't that what I should hope for.. no.. I am not.. I just want to know why? it must be very sad.. I just hate it when fate wants to make fun of me.. but I still have not give out.. mentally maybe I have but in my heart, I am not.. I don't want to be sad again.. but I just can't control my feelings..

am I silly?