Is the copyright law scary enough?

Yesterday, a circular is sent out from the office of Provost, our ex-dean.. about copyright law.. some staff and students have been caught downloading anime illegally... and they will have to face disciplinary actions from the university.. don't know how serious it will be.. but these were quoted from the circular..

"Any student found to have committed an offence involving or resulting in criminal activity will face the appropriate disciplinary action taken by the University, including the possibility of expulsion from the University or deprivation of any degree, diploma or certificate to be conferred or previously conferred."

"it is now also a criminal offence under the Copyright Act if a person wilfully infringes copyright either to a significant extent or for the purpose of obtaining a commercial advantage. First time offenders will face a maximum fine of $20,000 and/or imprisonment not exceeding 6 months while a fine not exceeding $50,000 and/or imprisonment up to 3 years will be imposed for subsequent offences."

sound quite scary.. I not a person who downloads a lot of stuff.. as I just don't know how to do it.. use what to do it.. quite stupid right.. listen to music from CDs that I bought.. ex? okay.. I sometimes bought parallel import.. which is not really illegal right.. and for videos? I watch youtube.. and tv.. but I know there are many people out there.. who really know how to download stuff.. and the common thinking that it is quite "safe".. no worries.. but is that so? maybe.. becos I never heard of anybody I know been caught.. "touch wood".. haha..

it have been shown on the tv and newspaper that some people are caught for these crimes.. but they are usually those quite serious ones.. but I actually heard of friends' friends' friend.. are fined for some piracy.. but these are just treated as rumours.. nobody quite believe or care.. and I think many people will just continue with this method of getting free stuff.. "it's free.. why not?" and for us students.. this will be a good way of saving some pocket money..

some time ago.. they is a campaign of protecting intellectual property..

one blank page in the life secion of strait times.. there is a line of words in the middle..
" We were going to show you some movies. But they were stolen."
quite a creative way but is it effective? I don't think so.. I nearly missed it.. just another advertisement bah..

hip stands for honour intellectual property.. I agree that we should honour the efforts that are put in by the musicians, the movie producers and crews.. but many people just don't really care.. self-interest is more important sometimes..

just look like some horror movies..

horror movies in the cinema is a no-no for me.. I just so scared of watching in the dark cinema with all the loud eerie sound effects.. I only watched one horror movie before in the cinema.. "the eye 2" which is not so scary lah.. lucky lor.. I still remembered watching with my JC mates.. and dilane will be there at the back tapping on my shoulder to scare me lor.. stupid dilane..

yah.. so watching horror movie will be wasting money for me.. I will definitely be using my hands to block my eyes lor.. I only dare to watch horror movie on tv at home.. with all my pillows around to protect me.. haha.. including my mum.. sometimes my mum just don't want to watch with me lor.. but I will just watch it alone in the bright living room lor.. and I will scare myself when I go into the toilet .. looking here and there.. see whether got anything or not.. I just like to imagine things..

it has been sometime ago.. that this disgusting advertisement is shown on the tv lor.. only saw it a few times.. I think they also cannot show it a lot.. becos many complaints about it.. I am not really afraid of forensic stuff.. like bloody scene or dead body or body parts.. but I really find this advert disgusting lor.. the woman make-up as a person who smoked a lot and got a very bad looking face and mouth disease.. look so bad and she speaks really eerily.. that's what I think lah.. it's really bold of them to put up such advert to deter people from smoking.. don't know whether it is effective or not.. and the poster of this lady is also put everywhere at bus stop lor.. can't really bear to look at it..

now this advert has been stopped and changed to something more mild.. encouraging people to quit smoking and have a happy and healthy lifestyle.. but i feel that the more disgusting one should be more effective bah..

now anti-smoking stuff have become more and more.. like no smoking in nightspots is going to start soon.. I think those really hate smelling smoke will be pleased by this.. so can minus one bad point out from clubbing..

everything's back to normal..

yes.. seems like nothing has happened.. everyone tries to forget it.. but be honest.. it is something I cannot easily forget.. it is just buried deep inside me.. parents and I still treat one another nicely.. but me.. I tried to talk.. but only talk when necessary to my father.. not as much as before liao.. controlling myself.. controlling my temper.. which is so difficult at times.. as long as I don't throw it in front of my father.. can liao..

Cats, I am so jealous of them..

becos.. I always see them around my neighbourhood.. lying on the ground with different positions.. sleeping soundly zzZZ.. early in the morning or in the middle of the day also like that.. and me.. I will be either dragging myself to sch.. and rushing to some places.. why do I have to wake up early and do work.. and these cats can just laze around.. so jealous of them.. haha.. they don't have to do anything and people will just feed them food..

yah.. while I am having bbq with my friends.. there will be cats around.. and somebody will just feed them bbq food also.. eating them same thing as us.. haha.. no wonder.. cats just like to hang out at the bbq area.. and cats just don't share food.. they will fight.. those aggressive ones will get the food in the end.. just don't understand why some cats are just so timid.. quickly run away when they saw another cat coming.. cats are just so human-like.. got different characters also..

Cat at downtown east chalet eating satay.. before that.. he chased away another cat lor..

The cat looking at me... look at me also no use lor.. no food for you.. haha..

the cat like a model.. giving me a different pose to shoot.. haha.. he is actually quite cute lor.. purr..

here comes another cat who is pregnant.. look at its big tummy.. she is even more aggressive..

I am not afraid of small animals.. unless they charged on me lah.. which is very rare.. but I got friends who are really scared of cats.. some of them reaction really big when cats get near them lor.. will scream and jumpe here and them to avoid the innocent animal.. I think the cat will be thinking: "why these human beings so weird?".. haha..

Auto-save, feel so safe..

haha.. luckily blogger started the auto-save function.. don't know why there is problem with blogger and I thought my last post will be gone and have to type again.. I experienced that before lor.. feel so frustrated by it.. luckily now no more.. hee..

just saw the meter on my blog.. cross 1000 mark already? haha.. don't know who are reading my blog.. hope you are not bored by it lah.. but I think I am also part of the 1000 people visiting my blog.. maybe 100 of them.. haha..

actually I am quite bored by the skin liao.. but too lazy to do anything about it now..

Still not good enough..

results came out on fri 7pm.. thought came out at 5pm.. but I made a mistake.. don't know why I think is 5pm leh.. haha..

anyway.. was at my friend, jas's bbq.. just for 3 of us plus her bf and a few of her family members.. haha.. she will have her own family one the next day.. the food was so nicely marinated.. really good and delicious.. but the I find the squid is a bit salty lah.. but free food cannot be too fussy.. and is really nice of her to invite us to her bbq.. and I know she really treat me as her good friend.. nice to know that..

yah.. I thought I will only know about my results after I get home.. but they persuaded me to check using hp lor.. okay lor.. actually don't really like the idea of using hp.. don't know accurate or not.. haha.. I think too much liao..my phone cannot send the msg then jas help me lor.. okay.. I did improve my grades.. but the CAP did not increase enough.. I am still 0.02 away from 4.. why? a bit disappointed lor.. now very difficult to improve CAP liao.. did so many modules.. to really improve more.. I have to get all As lor.. and I still getting B.. okay lah.. cannot say B is bad.. but to reach my target of above 4 still not enough lor..

I can just say that I will do my very best and what CAP I get in the end is my fate liao.. I just have to face the consequence of not getting 4.0 and above.. I maybe kicked out of the program.. I just have to appeal and beg them not to kick me out.. it is just so troublesome.. but I really want to stay on so that I can follow the study plan.. I have been in this program for years already lor.. and did so many modules they required me to take which are actually not necessary and exempted from some modules that are actually needed to take for other students.. no matter what is the outcome.. I will accept it and I have prepared mentally to bid for my own modules if needed.. but it is comfirmed I will do honours..

Black or red?

yah.. I'm talking about spiderman.. yes I watched spiderman 3.. not bad a movie.. I never watched 1 and 2 but I watch 3.. haha.. okay.. not many links to the first two parts.. except for the green globin's son takes revenge for his father..

I like black or the red spiderman? I will choose none of them.. but if both combine.. it will be good.. haha.. black spiderman is so cool.. his dance moves are cool.. haha.. but a bit weird.. maybe becos he is a nerd.. cool on him not really suitable.. haha.. the red spiderman likes the limelight so much.. that he sometimes just like to show off.. I don't like a superhero who likes to show off.. and the black one is a more of a bad guy.. use ruthless ways to take revenge.. even take revenge on a gal who dumped him.. making him a sore loser.. haha..

I think spiderman is just not my kind of superhero.. maybe batman is a better one.. or wolverine.. haha..

can history be easily changed and ignored?

I am a person who likes history.. becos the things from history can be so different from what we have now.. and by reading history.. I can know how some things such as nations have developed to what they are now.. I especially appreciate buildings that have historical values.. many of them are so old.. but they tell a story.. if they are destroyed.. we will not know about the past.. maybe becos I am a sentimental person so I treasure old things..

therefore when I hear the news about taiwan renaming the Chiang Kai shek Memorial hall to the National Taiwan Democracy Memorial Hall.. I don't really understand it.. why must they do this.. before this.. many of the Chiang Kai shek statues have been removed from all over taiwan but isn't him the founding father of taiwan.. such an important figure.. he can be just easily removed from taiwan.. there is really no respect for him.. he is known to be a dictator.. but does it gives the reason that he can be removed.. many countries also have ruthless rulers and dictatorial leaders.. but they are still respected as a historical figure in the country.. such as russia and japan.. I just don't understand how some photos and statues can be so disruptive to some political movements.. and that they have to be removed.. and the people can be so forgetful about the contributions done by the leader..

no wonder.. our LKY never want to have his statues put up around singapore.. and face the fate of them being taken down one day in the future.. but I think nobody will dare or want to do anything to his statues..

Who can be worse than me?

"watch what you say, or you could unwittingly hand someone a piece of ammunition that you do not need detonated in your direction." - horoscope in the Life section of straits times

is it really so accurate..really cannot believe it! but I only saw this after the ammunition has been detonated.. yah.. really a very very big explosion.. something I really didn't expect to happen.. so drastically.. frightened me too.. I am really not an obedient child.. my parents must be really unhappy to have me as their daughter.. but parents will just forgive their children and so are they.. bygones are bygones..

but did I really do something terrible? maybe have been accumulated in my dad to long already.. yah.. I have been avoiding talking to my dad for quite some time.. I don't talk unnecessarily.. becos scared of his nagginess.. just feel that he don't really understand..

sat was my dad's birthday.. should be a happy day.. it has started off okay.. with a birthday song and a kiss on his cheek.. then afternoon.. went to suki sakura for buffet lunch.. some good food for celebration.. then my dad came to fetch us.. yah in the morning he went to drive taxi.. then everything's okay until.. I was showing my mum the photo that I worn the jester costume.. then she says it's okay mah.. not ugly mah.. showing to her is okay but showing dad.. is no no.. that I was thinking then.. then so I immediately want to take back the phone.. becos I knew she wanted to show dad.. yes.. she was sitting in front while I am seated in the back.. I wanted to snatch back my phone.. becos she held it away from me.. then some snatching action sort of disturbing my dad driving.. so he is sort of irritated.. and when I finally got back my phone.. I am also angry lor.. so angry that tears came out and I shouted angrily to my mum.. then this caused the bomb to explode..

my dad just hate seeing me cry or shout and especially that day was his birthday so he was so so so angry.. it is really unimaginable.. all vulgarities came out..such as bastard, f*** you.. not once and many many times.. and he is driving at that time okay.. and he shouted why I always treat them as outsiders.. they are my parents.. but I don't let them touch me.. touch my things.. then scold my mum for taking my thing.. starting all these.. blah blah blah.. I was really shocked.. not by the vulgarities.. he said that to me before.. that's long time ago.. I was shocked that he shouted then paused then shouted again then banged on his car.. and he finally break down.. crying.. I never saw him cry before except when our close relatives passed away.. I don't exactly see him cry as I was directly seated behind him.. I just heard him cry.. I was scared so was my mum.. who has maintained strong and calm through and I just kept quiet and continue crying..

when my father broke down crying, my mum calmed him down and handed him a tissue and demanded me to stop crying.. becos we are supposed to fetch my aunt too for lunch.. so we immediately try to get back to normal.. and pretend nothing happened.. and we did.. I thought that was the end already.. but another thing happened.. after finishing the meal.. my mother quietly passed me her card to pay for the lunch.. okay I paid and happily went back to the table then my dad saw the receipt and asked me what it is.. and he is very angry again when he saw the receipt becos he had paid for it already.. oh my.. bad things don't happen once in a day.. and he scold my mum for not asking him.. and also scolded the staff at the counter.. something like so disappointed with the company.. something like that.. it was very loud lor.. so I quickly speak to the staff.. they apologise and repay us back in cash.. I actually felt embarrassed that my father scolded so loudly at them.. with no vulgarities of course..

after we left, my dad still reprimanded my mother for doing things without asking him and he said it was really not a smooth day for him..

I think my dad is really out of control.. I don't know is becos of his old age.. or really his disappointment in me.. for not being his perfect daughter.. who always chat with him.. show my love for him.. then I was thinking.. why don't they have more children.. if I have siblings.. maybe things will be better.. I just hate myself for being a only child.. I just don't want to say out " I love you dad".. that's not me.. it just feel so mushy.. so eeeeee.. must I really say that to show that I love them.. must really give them a kiss now and then to show I love them.. I just feel that I am too old for that liao.. I always do that when I am young.. now? I just don't feel like doing it.. and do I have to share with them everything.. I have my own privacy too.. I share with mum some private stuff.. but father.. I don't really..

now I just feel scared of him.. if that day I am not seated at the back but just beside me.. he may even give me a tight slap.. he was so agitated.. I scare his blood pressure will get higher and has heart attack.. my father always think that he is the best father in the world.. care for me a lot.. always speak to me to try to understand me.. and allow me to do everything I want but only after I have told him about it.. maybe I just don't deserved all the caring.. becos I sometime don't appreciate it.. maybe it's too much for me to handle.. just feel stressed out of it.. and irritated by why can't he just don't care.. and just let me do what I want.. I am old enough to make decision.. I am just like a child to him.. I think the barrier between us is getting larger.. I just don't feel like talking to him now.. just don't want to agitate him again..

What a tiring day!

I took a nap about 4 hours long today.. very long right.. haha.. so tired.. and why am I so tired? becos I stand for 6 hours yesterday.. haha.. just a day work and I am so tired already.. haha.. my mum laughed at me.. I cannot take hardship izzit and this is not even a hardship.. after last week work.. also a day work.. my feet ached.. haha.. yah.. I went to do the bank roadshow again.. this time at orchard and yes.. need to dress up as a jester.. but this time is outdoor.. and wearing the costume is so hot.. under the hot weather.. the response is okay.. but I heard is not as good as sat.. okay..

I think some of the PB wearing the bank t-shirt were so enthu lor.. go onto the street and stop people to try out the games.. yah the game is the attractive factor.. yah.. if you have a local bank credit card and you get a chance to win a ipod shuffle.. and it is a game that is impossible for you to win the big prize de.. only can get the small gifts and I must say the best prize the umbrella.. under such a weather.. many people are so happy to win an umbrella.. haha.. and it is the large and not cheap kind lor..

with so many PB around.. I and the other gal can slack a bit but the purpose of having us there and wear the jester costumes is to attract people mah.. and some of the PB are really scaring people away.. some people are just scared of listening to all the talks on investment plans.. so some clever ones.. will stick close to me and immediately take over when someone interested in the game.. these really enthu ones are the permanant staff.. becos they have a target to meet while the part-time ones are really slack at first.. until when they compared the numbers then they panic.. haha..

I really feel embarrassed wearing the costume lor.. and this time.. there is not hat to block half of my head.. and a friend recognized me.. alamak.. why so unlucky.. luckily I am calm and smile and say hello.. hee.. maybe.. I not really hate wearing that lah.. to earn money I just have to bear with it..

while doing my job.. I constantly saw people fascinated with some inflated dolls.. haha.. the never-will-fall dolls.. hee.. no matter how you hit the doll.. it will just bounce back.. not too hard lah.. and so many paople just like to take photo with them and hit them.. haha.. it is also the part of the deco of the bank lor..

The inflated family members.. father, mother, and two kids.. and the real kids really like them.. haha..

How is it now?

some time ago.. I wrote something about my neighbour borrowed money from the loan shark (http://stars-fruit.blogspot.com/2007/02/is-loan-shark-really-so-scary.html) and his flat was disfigured by the loan shark ppl.. and he did not do anything about it.. let his flat to remain messy and dirty.. everytime my relatives visited us, they will surely see the mess ad asked us about it.. I am really disgusted by it lor.. and then the town council people or some government body ppl finally came to check out the flat.. a big group of them.. that's was during my reading period.. don't know who made the complain.. hee.. maybe the neighbour next door.. who cannot bear with it anymore.. those people also chatted with the next door owner lor..



then the next week, a woman came with a foreign worker who is a cleaner bah.. becos he starts to clean up the mess outside the flat.. and the woman just stand at the back and supervise.. with her arms folded like a boss like that.. I think they did not know the owner is in the flat bah.. the owner has been coming back to the flat and living quietly lor.. later the owner came out, just in his shorts and he continue the cleaning and gave his door a new paint.. haha.. when the people from the authority came.. nothing he can do but follow the orders.. and the flat is back to its clean state.. finally..
just when I thought everything has come to an end.. the loan shark is back a few days later.. I think the owner has not returned the money bah.. loan shark money can be difficult to return de lor.. if he is so rich.. he will not have to borrow money from loan shark liao.. the loan shark's spy must have seen the newly painted flat and know that owner is home.. those people poured paint at the flat again and wrote things on the wall.. luckily the paint is not so much as the owner has immediately cleaned them up the next morning and I did not get to see it.. just manage to see the wordings on the wall..

the words were on the wall..

then they are gone the next day..

now everything is peaceful liao.. and I just saw the owner today.. neatly dressed and smart.. seemed like everything settled liao.. hope so bah..

I have sort of decided liao..

yah.. I have sort decided to do honours under Dr Basheer and Prof Lee.. I have went back to school to look for them lor.. and I really find them to be really good.. they are so sincerely to teach and give training to honours student.. Prof Lee told me a lot of things about his research.. microextraction.. they are really friendly.. I feel comfortable to talk with them.. and I am really interested in the projects that they will offer.. although it is not confirmed that I will do honours with them.. it will only be confirmed when the listing come out and we bid for the projects.. at least they have seen me and know that I am interested..

I actually wanted to work in the lab in july but seems like Prof Lee don't really like the idea as he did not want to get complain that some students had some advantages.. and declaration will be needed that we do not start on our projects earlier.. okay lor.. anyway working in his lab will be voluntary.. no fund for it.. not like some labs where students are paid NUS rate to work lor.. which is not bad pay leh.. anyway they say we can still go to the lab casually to try out the equipment or talk to the people in the lab..

Have been quite consistent with exercising..

Yah.. I am quite determined to slim down and look better.. but I don't like jogging so I chose skipping and swimming... I almost everyday will skip 400 times.. I am improving.. trying to get 200 times without stopping but not yet.. but will get it soon.. just now went swimming.. this is the 2nd time in this holiday.. actually the last time I went swimming was when I was sec 1 lor.. very long ago right.. about 7 years ago..

last week which is the first time after so many years.. I felt some fear when I stepped into the pool.. of course I didn't swim in the deep pool.. and I have to revise how to swim the different styles.. haha.. almost forgot how to swim.. not really afraid of water as the last few I had went to beach and swam in the sea.. first time in the pool tired easily but today feels better le.. don't feel tired.. hope will swim better for longer distance.. train my stamina mah..

An embarassing part-time job

Last sun.. I was last min called to a part-time job at parkway parade for a bank roadshow and I have to dressed up as a jester.. which is a clown lah.. no make-up.. no big red nose.. just the costume.. but already quite embarassing.. actually when I heard it.. I not really want to do lah.. but becos he says will give me more money $8.50 per hour and reimburse my taxi fare.. he wanted me to reach there in 1 hour so I agree lor.. and he can get me more jobs next time mah.. dress up as a jester to give out flyers just feel weird.. ppl walk past will look at you then smile.. like very funny lor.. and kids especially will be attracted by me and the other colleague lor.. some parents even purposely carry their kids to us to look at us.. my colleague even waved to the kids like he is a star like that.. just when our job ended, some indian ppl even came up to us and took a photo with us.. haha.. the boss asked me whether I am interested to do this week.. hee hee.. don't know want to do this kind of job or not.. anyway.. I not free yah.. hee..that's me.. so afraid to show my face.. haha.. lucky never see any familiar faces around..

I really need money lor.. need to get part-time but want those that only last a few days de.. hee.. more flexible.. I have went to a tech company for interview as a promoter for digital products which are from a quite unknow brand.. no response from them yet.. maybe don't want me becos I no experience bah.. I also went to two job agencies with my friends.. signed up with them.. they introduced a job as a promoter for a hair dye company.. $6 per hour for weekends.. quite little right.. and I found all that actually is $8.50 per hour de.. they have "ate up" $2.50 lor.. which is a lot lor.. and the job needs to do for 2 months of weekends.. so in the end I gave up.. don't go.. actually not really happy to know that they eat so much.. then the next agency intro a skin care product promoter job.. I reject it as I don't think my skin will be good enough for it lor.. people buy product will look at face de.. and if I do the job, I will have to put up thick makeup.. so troublesome.. so now just wait for these people to call me to intro more jobs for me lor.. wait and wait..

near the beginning of this month, I saw the news talking about new emplyment guidelines that aim to end discrimination.. I think it is not feasible lor.. job ad should not state requirements related to age, language skills, gender, race, marital status and religion like "seeking fresh graduates" or "female working environment".. but stating these requirements is actually quite useful mah.. then people will not waste their time applying for the job that is not suitable for them mah.. imagine a man applying for a job where all his colleagues are female.. he may not want to work there mah.. and the application forms should not ask for age, photograph unless for security screening purposes etc? huh? a bit weird lor.. all the interviews that I went to.. all ask for these leh.. and they even ask for height and weight..

I think these guidelines just for showing lah.. like doing job like promoter.. they will want to know whether the applicant got the height and looks lor.. discirmination sure to have.. if not how to sell the products.. this is just a way the government trying to show that they are trying to end discrimination.. will it work? see whether the company wants or not lor.. quite difficult..

The environmentalist.. not really lah..

was at giant on sat.. and my friend asked.. "did you kanna the bring your own bag campaign?" "No, I didn't." so is she.. actually I quite like this campaign lor.. but I hope it can be a everyday thing and not just first wed of every month only.. then everyone will start to get used to bringing their own bags.. start to have the habit.. can help the environment with this small way.. but this campaign really faced many complains.. some people really don't like the idea.. find it really troublesome.. and my father really against it.. say that it will not work de lah.. don't buy from these stores.. see how they can survive.. they will stop the campaign de.. and becos there is no free plastic bags given out.. some people also took some extreme measures.. like buying plastic bags to use.. and my father says "you see, you see, the campaign is encouraging people to buy more plastic bags." I really don't like hearing my dad say this lor.. but I just don't want to argue with him.. that's his old mentality..

a lot of plastic rubbish has been thrown and they are burnt in the incinerator.. toxic fumes are given off and destroy the environment.. so starting this little way of reducing plastic usage can actually lead to bigger movement to help the environment so all of us should be supportive.. all of us are living on Earth so we have to play our part in protecting our home.. now news on changing weather are more frequent liao.. winter become less cold or winter become more cold.. more storms, natural disasters like floods, earthquakes around the world.. the earth's ozone layer is depleting becos of more carbon dioxide released.. and the main CO2 contributing countries like US and China are not been cooperative.. becos of their own financial interests.. like the earth is not theirs..

I am not really environmentalist.. always doing things to help the environment.. but as one of the citizens of Earth.. I think I should also play my part too..

finally something good about being above 21 years old..

yeah! I got a letter today.. I got the GST Offset Package.. haha.. $250 but over a period of a few years right.. actually not really a big amount like the previous progress package lah.. I missed that lor.. becos I just reach 21.. but at least got something.. some money to spend.. haha..

Why some ppl just like to study?

had a small get-together with my course mates at mache on Sat.. yummy.. really like the mushroom soup and ginger beer.. always buy that when I eat there..

then heard from a friend that she going to graduate one sem later than us.. to fulfil the modules requirement for a double major.. yah.. she's doing a double major.. Chem and life sci.. yah.. impressive right.. and that's not all.. she's going to do medicine after graduating at the medicine graduate school.. it will take her another 5 years to complete the course.. I never know that she is so determined to study medicine.. she failed to enter medicine after 'A' Levels.. then she wants to try it again.. really impressed by her determination.. but it have to take so long.. by that time she will be near 30.. all her youthful years will be spent on studying liao.. I cannot be like that.. I have no interest in studying liao.. now I am just determined to complete the rest of what I have left.. I cannot bear any longer.. there will be so much waiting for me in the society for me to explore.. but I starting to have the fear of looking for job lor.. I find that I don't have anything that I am really good in.. something that I really can perform very well.. I seem to not have an identity.. I feel lost..

I am wondering why some people just have such a strong interest in something.. like my friend who really interested in life sci researching and lab work.. it's seems that my interest always changing.. I cannot find something that I can stay long with.. I will get bored so easily.. I am always fascinated by new stuff.. and this fascination never lasts long so I never have any skill and ability that I can be proud of.. I will lose touch of it soon after..

and I am wondering why some people like studying so much.. I used to like it.. now I don't liao.. why? is it so that they can enter the society later.. they don't like to face people.. all the politics and stuff.. studying will be the safer route to take.. isn't it escaping from reality? many people says studying life is better than working life.. working people just miss their student years lor.. is it really true.. I think I will know it only when I start working permanently bah.. and these long-years-studying ppl just have the ability and money to continue to study and maybe they just don't have the burden to feed their family.. they can continue to study with a peaceful mind.. I then don't have this privilege lor..

Hungry wolves out there on the net..

I think this is not the first time that a reporter poses as a young gal to lure the "wolves".. I think I have read this kind of report a number of times on the newspaper.. this kind of report appeared again on the sunday times.. I think is becos of the statistics that saw a rise in the underage gals did wrong things with the older guys bah..

okay.. like what expected, this female reporter who changed identity to a 13 year old.. got a number of guys chatting with her once she enters the online chatroom and a number of indecent proposals and questions came up.. these have been extracted out and published in the paper.. the reporter also met up with some of these "wolves" too.. I am not surprised at all by the questions.. I also have seen them before.. out of curiosity.. I also have went to this kind of online chatrooms.. I think is my late secondary school years and JC 1 bah.. it's quite amusing when think back the kind of conversation that these sort of guys have made with me in the chatroom.. all the indecent questions.. I think hardly can find a decent guy to talk to in this chatroom lor.. of course I am not so easy to believe what they say and avoided their indecent questions.. their ultimate aim is all the same which is to ask me out to meet.. which I didn't lah.. I am not so stupid to accept their offer lor..

but at JC1, I did meet a guy that I chatted online.. whom I think is decent enough to meet in person.. and I have chosen to meet him where many of my friends are around.. it's in the public also.. I asked him out for a band concert lah.. now thinking about it.. I still don't know why I am so daring to want to meet him.. a person that I don't know much.. only talked online.. I am sure that it is not becos I want a relationship out of it.. I think it's just my curiosity lah.. I always want to try things that I never done before.. haha.. anyway.. I did it very safely mah..

I think the meet up did not go very well bah.. we did not really talk much.. but something good is not a uncle that turned up.. he did not really lie to me.. he is really a mature guy.. nearly 10 years older than me.. and surprisingly.. he did not ask me do things like go and eat supper with him or what.. maybe he is disappointed to see me bah.. becos he did not contact me thru sms anymore after that.. maybe he is also not a good guy at all.. aiyah this is quite expected mah.. he will surely look for a easy target.. and I am too clever for him liao.. haha..

I practised my tolerance..

I was talking about the getai at my void deck.. just as I was happy that it only lasted for one night.. the next week.. which is the second week of my exams.. a large tent was set up at the carpark in front of my flat.. okay must be another deity's birthday celebration.. a taoist tradition.. don't know why.. this carpark has become a more popular venue for this kind of event.. a tent has just been taken down then another was set up.. but why must it be during my exams.. why? and this time the celebration is much more elaborate liao.. got lion dance, got instrumental playing during rituals, got opera, got puppet show and getai somemore.. songs similar to the previous getai lor.. all old songs..

and they turn on the speakers so loud, I can clearly hear what they performing lor.. and every night last until 11pm lor.. a bit too late right.. yah.. they are not there just for a night lor.. a few nights in fact.. I have to shut myself in the room, close door and close windows to have more barriers to block out the sound just to study.. and the funny thing is.. they stop on the day that I have my last paper.. is it on purpose? haha..

the celebration a street away.. that the deity has enjoyed but not me.. maybe I will if it is not during my exams..

Lift upgrading confirmed..

one of the promises used during election will finally come true for my block.. for my whole life, I have been living in this flat.. I have been so used to not having a lift that stop at my storey liao.. everyday when I go out, I will climb two flights of stairs up to take the lift.. sometimes to exercise, I will also climb the stairs all the way down to the ground floor.. lift that stops every floor seems like not necessity to me at all.. have or not also not very impt lah.. but seems like it is a trend for all flats to have it liao.. so why not.. we voted yes for it.. and now the results out, more than 75% of the residents in my block have voted in favour so it's on next year..

having a lift that stop every storey may not be a necessity for me.. but it still benefit many people such as the large portion of elderly and senior citizens who are living in my block.. when moving bulky stuff.. having a lift near you also good lah.. my block really has many old people leh.. no kidding.. you can really see them when they gathered at my void deck for the variety show or should I say getai.. so coincidently, I have a RC at my void deck and they set up the polling there lor..

talking about the getai, it really irritates me.. during my exam period, they have this show for the launch of the lift upgrading programme and imagine it was so loud and all the songs are so old.. all tailored for the elderly lor.. make me wonder whether I am the only young ppl living there.. no programme for youngster at all.. yah.. and it is so loud that even staying 10 plus floors above also can hear clearly and making studying and watching tv so difficult..

okay.. I accompanied my mum to the polling for a while and just nice, the MP was giving his speech in front of the packed audience, mainly made up of aunties, uncles, ah peks and ah mas.. seats are insufficient and many also stood at the side.. the MP gave a Mandarin speech first.. I must say that this MP must really improve his mandarin. he's a Chinese.. He can speak Mandarin but not very well lor.. don't know is it on purpose for the sake of the elderly.. he speaks really very slow in Mandarin, word by word.. he really has difficulty say out a sentence fluently from the script.. I must say I was really bored by it.. finishing the Mandarin speech.. finally.. he has to say a english version exactly the same.. that time I already not hearing liao..

I went to the polling station with my mum.. it is electronic polling.. just select the option by touching the screen.. each station has a friendly staff helping you to use the machine.. it's nice of them of having ppl there to help.. but I think ppl will not dare to vote against it lor.. as the older ppl always have the mentality that they will be blacklisted if they don't support the government policy.. this might also be a factor that help to raise the number of people in favour of the project bah..

Back from 1 night chalet..

yah.. just one night.. really hope can stay longer lor.. but not my chalet mah.. very happy to see my friends, my freshies.. quite sometime never see them liao.. it's fun talking to my freshies and play with them.. I always find that I can get along well with my freshies.. lucky got them.. if not.. I will definitely feel weird be around the sci club ppl.. I just feel weird.. like I'm not very welcomed there liao.. I am from a different batch of MC.. something from the past and not suited there liao.. Why I join SCAMP? also becos got my BB freshies in the comm and my Zeus freshies joining with me.. I am sort of the oldest one there.. not many Year 3 join scamp lor.. quite surprising.. in the past not really like that leh.. what happen liao? maybe the sense of belonging not strong liao.. or becos nothing much is done to attract back the "old" ppl.. or becos of some bad memories and unhappiness still lingering.. nvm.. I will just enjoy myself..

saw some ppl whom I really want to talk to.. but could not get a chance to sit down to talk to them.. so difficult for me.. as they are in their new group of friends liao.. find so hard to approach them and stay a conversation.. we used to talk a lot.. but why it is like hi-bye friends liao.. I really feel quite sad now.. has everything changed so much.. I really don't know what really goes wrong.. is it really thing in the past and cannot get back?

the shocking murder..

this has already happened a few weeks back already.. during my reading week.. quite late to talk about it now.. everything seems to go back to normal but maybe not those who are directly related to it.. the mass murder at Virginia Tech really shocked me.. maybe gunshot murder is something quite common in US.. but this 32 people been murdered in a university is really a big news.. especially when it is been done by a person with Asian background.. although he grew up in US.. his skin is still something different.. he is not considered a pure US citizen at all..

when I heard the news, grief really overcome me.. it's maybe weird as I not at all affected at all by this murder.. my family and friends are not involved at all.. which is a relief.. but I still very sad for those innocent people.. just imagine.. you are just studying them.. pursuing a bright future.. and your life is stopped abruptly by someone who you don't even see and know before.. and you are not even given a chance to leave any last word.. and when you die for a reason that you will never know.. so are the people who are still alive.. everything still a mystery.. becos the cold-blooded murderer have also gone with those victims.. just that he may end up in hell while his victims in heaven..

I just feel so emotional when I saw the news.. I cried.. I follow every updates of the news.. something that I will not want to miss.. the most affected should be those studying in that uni.. and the victims' families.. who will know that studying can also put you in danger.. but the students stay strong and they have realised that life is really unpredictable and should spend every single day to the best and fullest.. so am I.. I also respect those teachers who used their body to block the murderer to protect their students.. when something like this happen.. how many people will not think of their own safety first and sacrifice themselves.. not many lor.. these people instinctively wanted to help others before thinking of own safety.. are really great hero and I respect them!

the murderer.. everyone should have hated him.. but is it really his wrong? there are many signs that show that he will do something like that.. but any actions taken to stop him? not really.. and what caused him to have such a psycho behaviour.. his childhood? being discriminated.. lack of family and friends concern? he is such a loner.. I think nobody will care about what he is doing and how is he until he appeared on the news.. then everything came out into the light.. but it is all too late..

I'm a bad girl.. Yes, I am..

I feel my relationship with my parents is quite strained lor.. really don't know lah.. I really feel like I am chained to them like that.. not much freedom like that.. I am rebellious and not obedient at all.. but I should have passed my rebellious age already right but why still like that.. really really don't know.. so frustrating.. both of them are just treating me like a small girl like that.. but i'm 22 already.. maybe I not financially independent bah.. to make sure I don't do anything wrong.. I will ask them to make sure but my mum will scold me and say why can't I make the decision myself.. ask and don't ask will get scolded.. I really don't know what to do.. I always thought that getting a job in the holiday is not impt but now I feel I must get one.. becos I want to buy stuff.. maybe now I spent more liao bah.. but during the sem.. I didn't even spend much de lor.. only during the hol.. but when my mum see I spend more.. she will nag and nag and don't let me buy things.. so frustrating.. how can she be like that? I am really not happy..

I really think that my parents are in their menopause period.. very easily get angry and talk loudly.. always accusing me of doing things that I never do.. and as a impatient person who hate been accused wrongly, I will shout back at them and argue with them.. and the argument get heated up.. everybody becomes very very angry.. I know as their daughter I should control myself more.. I should not be so rude.. but I just cannot control lor.. becos they are my parents.. can't they treat me well and they should be the ones who understand me better.. how can they accuse me of stuff that I did not do.. although it is something minor.. I just can't accept.. and I am not the sort who can bear everything.. I am a very direct person.. everything will burst out of me.. and we really have generation gap.. and some of their thinkings really are something I cannot accept lor.. and some of their comments I also cannot accept.. I really cannot stomach everything lor.. and keep quiet all the time.. that's really not me..

sometime I have "evil" thoughts that I want to run away from them lor.. stay away from them but they are my parents.. and they only have me as their child.. I cannot leave them alone.. I think I also cannot bear to do that to them.. maybe I am used to rely on them liao lor.. what a dilemma right.. so used to them making decisions for me.. maybe I have taken it for granted.. but I really feel so trapped in this situation.. can someone help me?

Avril Lavigne rock!

Listening to her new album now.. out last month.. but only bought it now.. haha.. no chance to buy during exams mah.. so have to bear with it.. the review of this album is not good lor.. I heard glenn ong's review on Channel NewsAsia.. he only give 2 stars lor.. said it was a disappointing album where the songs no meaning ones.. not worth buying.. not as good as her 2nd album.. I quite sad after listening to this review lor.. how can he say that? never mind.. that's just his point of view.. reviews are never totally accurate de.. I like it can liao.. haha.. her attitude is still there.. is just she is more happy and more fun now.. more upbeat songs.. I like her slow songs too..

actually she is the only singer whose songs I have been always played in my mp3 player.. willl not be sian de lor.. don't know lor.. other singers' songs.. I will feel sian after playing for some time in my player.. I really enjoy avril's songs.. yeah!

This is my new wallpaper!
My previous wallpaper is also her..haha.. she have become more fashion conscious liao lor.. have good dress sense.. I hope to be like her.. haha

I also bought another CD.. the singer is ting chu.. she's a newcomer.. taiwanese singer.. I like her song "xi huai ni" that has been played on the radio.. I also saw her on 100% entertainment lah.. she is a songwriter too.. wrote her own songs.. very talented so I buy her CD lor.. haha.. you must be thinking just a song I will then buy the cd liao.. that's me.. when I listen to the radio.. I most of the time don't notice the singer de.. until I heard the song then I find it to be very nice.. then I will go and find out who sang it and will consider buy the CD.. for avril is like that also.. I heard her song "complicated" on radio.. really like it.. that time she is still quite unknown lor.. but I still will buy her CD.. I really like those singers who write their own songs.. tong en is also one of them.. so talented.. impressed by them lor.. I can't be like them lor..

Something wrong with my blog skin!

Don't know when it happened.. just discovered it today.. pictures can't load.. and nobody told me about it.. or they never notice.. haha.. anyway.. this is my temporary skin.. I will change it once I figure out what to do.. I just like black..

It's a fine day..

Hey! Exams over! Finally.. last wed.. evening paper.. evening paper not good lor.. after paper cannot do much thing to celebrate.. but still get to eat dinner with friend.. yah friend.. not friends.. actually should be friends but one gal went to eat free dinner with her guy friend lor.. then pang sei me and a guy.. actually feel quite weird lah.. don't misunderstand okay.. nothing between us.. he got girlfriend liao lor.. becos only three of us friends live in AMK and take same modules lor.. okay lah.. at least he don't mind eating with me alone and we ate New York New York.. first time eating there.. and some more it is at AMK hub.. and I ate a lot that day.. quite regret that.. becos I have been controlling my diet and just becos my exams over liao and too happy liao.. so eat so much.. ate a carbonara with half roast chicken and dessert, blueberry pancake.. I must say I didn't know the dessert serving is so big.. two quite big pancake and I never see properly.. I thought I called waffle instead.. haha.. I have been like that blur blur and forgetful.. becos of the exams? maybe.. too much things stuffed in my mind.. it was a very full meal lor.. and I spent $22 for that.. haha.. a bit too much.. okay company not bad.. we always got stuff to talk about..

have been resting these few days.. exercising (skipping) and went out too! will write more about it soon.. and some things that I observed in the exam period.. yup..a lot a lot of stuff...

Today is really a fine day.. cloudy from the morning but no black clouds..